Am I Chasing Myself, or the Desire to be Desired?

There are cultural whispers that imply if you don't look hot, you are less than who you could be. Change this, change that! Optimize this! Do we waste our lives chasing self-improvement dictated by trends, or do you actually live in the here and now? The days laid out before you? Utilizing the gifts you have?

I was listening to the song from A Bug's Life, which says, "It's the time of your life, so live it well." Today is the time we were given to live our lives—are you going to live it chasing fleeting, meaningless pursuits that won't last? Things that are ever-changing because, guys, life happens! ACNE! AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES LIKE HASHIMOTO'S! PMOS! Lots of other things!

Is the price for pursuing hotness a guy? If so, if your intuition knows that is the way you will obtain such a "prize," have you considered what type of character that male creature has? If his eyes prize hotness—which comes one day and leaves the next—do you not think that then he will demand that from you? Is that the life you want? To be valued because of how you look? Is that life for you?

Not only that, my friend, but is that where your value is? Is that the most beautiful thing about you?! NO!

Also, has anyone ever gotten food poisoning? That is not peak hotness for anyone. Is the guy you are choosing going to be scared off because you... shockingly... are a... wait for it... a human?! Sometimes it might not even be a man; it might be expectations women in your family have of how a woman should look. Always chasing the next diet, or even measuring each woman in their family toward some beauty standard they have in their head to which one must submit.

It obviously begets the question: Is beauty why I am here? The answer is a resounding NO.

Yet, don't we see what these standards do to ourselves and others? Don't you see, dear reader, this becomes almost a religious tenet in which our worth rises or falls? Is that what you want your life, and the life of the women and even men around you, to be?

Our bodies are not objects, and they are not projects to be pinched and prodded. This is your soul's home; your heart, mind, and personality live in your body. I love this sentence by Tish Harrison Warren: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." What we spend our hours, minutes, and days chasing is, of course, how we spend our lives chasing and inevitably beholding—and what we behold, we become.

The fruit of chasing hotness is not a pretty sight, let me tell you. Everyone or thing that threatens that goal or title will become your competition. Or, if you consider a hobby, the filter you'll use to decide if you will try it is, "Will I look hot doing it?" Your motivation won't be, "Do I like this piece of clothing?" but rather, "Will I look hot?" See how you aren't really developing or discovering what YOU like, but rather hotness decides for you, and hotness becomes your precious.

This might be something you struggle with, or maybe not right now, but we'd be wise to examine what our hearts are desiring, for they might stop you from being you.

Also, don't read what I'm not writing: I am not saying don't wear makeup and wear pretty clothes. I am saying don't give yourself value in your own eyes or measure yourself with the barometer of hotness. Chase your personal likes, tastes, and real values—not human-made desirability scales.

If you are a Christian, your worth and value come from Christ; you are made in God's image. Imago Dei = Image of God. We have inherent value and dignity. As Rashawn Frost says in his essay, Made In the Image of God: Why Human Dignity Matters: "Every human being possesses an inherent dignity, value, and worth by virtue of being human and ought to be respected. It is the acknowledgment that human life at every stage is sacred. This sacredness of human life is not based on one’s attributes, utility, function, or their ability to contribute to society, but rather the idea that humankind, male and female, is created in the imago Dei, the image of God."

We will encounter people that judge us based on our lack of certain attributes or demand that we value their values as well. We must remind ourselves that we live as sojourners on this earth and that God does not look at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart.