A letter for Men who Care

For men who say they are Christians and believe you care how do you see women?

Genuinely, how do you see women? Your sisters, your friends, your cousins, your acquaintances? Women you don’t know? How do you see them?

Do you see them as humans? As souls? As people just like you, with problems to navigate, decisions to make, health issues to manage, and feelings to honor? Or do you see them as objects? Do you objectify them? Do you objectify us?

Do you think we walk through our day-to-day lives wanting to be picked by you? Desired by you? Do you think we walk this earth thinking about you the ways some men think about us? Do you think we want your remarks about our physical appearance? About our personalities? About our jobs? About our mundane decisions?

Is it just me, or do you demand the invisible, everyday expectations placed on women—such as the demand for a smile, unearned deference, unwarranted invasive interest, and an invasive invasion of space—simply because of a man's sense of entitlement? Do you think you objectify us? "No," you might say.

Yet, you follow naked bodies on your social media, or women you lust after, while claiming you are "just a man." As it is written in Matthew 5:28: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

You hear men say about pregnant women, "She is ugly right now because she is fat." You, reader, might be surprised, but I have overheard men say this. Judging women on their worth based on what you perceive as their number on a beauty scale—is that not objectification?

Objectification is the act of treating a person as an inanimate object or a tool, ignoring their feelings, agency, and individual humanity. It most commonly appears as sexual objectification, focusing only on a person's body or appearance.

Do you think women have no agency—or should abandon all agency—just because you desire to extract information from someone you barely know, simply because you find her pretty? Do you not recognize objectification when a man wants to break up with a woman because she no longer looks the way he wants her to look?

So, dear male reader: do you want an object, or do you want a fellow human being who possesses a soul, feelings, and agency?

Not to mention: if you claim to be a Christian, what are you doing with your heart? What are you doing with your eyes?

You say, "I am just a man," while simultaneously claiming to be a follower of Christ. Have you read your Bible? Have you read what Jesus, the head of all of us, says about how you should conduct yourselves? To guard your heart? To strive for holiness? Scripture is explicit in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

Consider the stark contrast in the One you claim to follow: Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be used for His own advantage, meaning as a prize to be held tightly or used for selfish power. Yet you, mere creatures, grasp so desperately at power, privilege, and entitlement over others.

I am genuinely tired of the excuses. Saying "I am a man" is no excuse before Jesus, and He will not excuse it—leaving you, as Romans 1:20 states, “without excuse.”

It is time to turn away from the rationalizations and repent. Stop hiding behind your biology and start examining your conscience before a holy God. Start seeing women as your sisters, guard your eyes, and cultivate a true, reverent fear of the Lord—for God does not take lightly those who mistreat His daughters. Lay down the entitlement, renounce the objectification, and walk in the genuine transformation you were called to. You are without excuse.